Today I had all three boys all day. I went and picked them up at 8am. I completly forgot about preschool for S till lunchtime, and it was over by then. I’ll have to try and remember on thursday-it is good for his life to be as normal as possible. They have played pretty good today. I was able to buy a toy for S and Ax so they each had their own. I am struggling with sleep though. Naptimes aren’t happening. HOpefully as everyone gets used to living here it will get better. Bedtime tonight was interesting. S is not used to having other people in the room with him, Ax is used to falling asleep watching cartoon network(which is not happening here) and C…well, I don’t know how to get him to sleep. After struggling with C for a long time I ended up just putting up the playpen in my room and letting him cry it out there. I feel bad doing that, but I don’t know what else to do. In my arms he just crys anyway, but doesn’t falls asleep. Ax cried for a little bit for me to sleep with him, that he couldn’t sleep alone, but he fell asleep pretty quick, and S is still awake in there. lol. He can take forever to fall asleep sometimes. Maybe in an hour, or once I know S is completly asleep I will try and move C into his crib and just hope and pray he stays asleep.
I’m so exhausted. I know this will get easier. We will get into a routine. I WILL figure out sleep for them. I will get everything more organized and won’t have to be working so hard at getting it organized like I am now. It won’t be so bad then, but for now I think I am drowning! A Wise friend said this today: “…I had committed to do some things – all of which were parts of great opportunities… But when it came time for me to deliver on those committments I had lost sight of the opportunity and was wallowing in the “have to’s.” I have to do this, I have to do this…I don’t have enough time!
Not enough time is also a story – there are only 24 hours in a day and it is enough time.
So I have put a red flag up when I feel constrained and overwhelmed – a red flag to remind me to STOP stop and focus on the opportunity that brought me to committing in the first place!”
I love that. i just have to make this work minute by minute, day by day and remember what the opportunity was that lead me here. I need to remember what I am doing for these kids. I am getting a little more done each day, but it’s just so hard for me to not be able to do everything i need to quickly.