Welcome to Our Craziness!

March 5, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 9:49 pm

I used to know a good little man. He was the best. He always (well, mostly always) obeyed. He wanted so bad to please me, and I tried to make it pretty easy for him. We got along quite well and had lots of fun together. He always welcomed my hugs and kisses and cuddles. He rarely screamed at me, and I rarely screamed at him. I miss him so much. I don’t know how to get him back and I almost regret the decision I made that has made him disappear. I hope in the deepest part of my heart that he isn’t gone forever. I miss him so bad. I need him back. I actually have no ideas on how to make that happen though. It probably was inevitable that this day would come, but I’m really having a difficult time with it.


3 Responses to “”

  1. Lacie Says:

    That was written beautifully! It sounded like a poem. Your little guy is so sweet and well mannered, I am always impressed by him. I can’t imagine if he is acting up that it would be perminent, I’m sure you’re all just adjusting to the changes. He’s a sweet little spirit.

  2. Trina Says:

    Ohh don’t worry you are doing the right thing…I am sure you are all having a hard time adjusting to all the changes. I am sure once he gets use to all of it things will go back to the way it use to be…maybe not completely but better. I really look up to you, I think you are doing a great job!!!!
    Just hang in there…Love ya

  3. Kim Says:

    Very beautiful post. Very well written, and I understood every letter, every word, and every sentence of that post. Ashlee, I hope that you know that in some small way I understand your feelings. You have been handed something GIGANTIC, hard, and difficult, and I am sure it is hard to understand if it will all pay off because you are not in a position to give your heart away fully for fear it will be trampled on. Your little guy will adjust. I remember feeling this same way right before Emm came. I also remember the adjustment that we had after she came. It is hard to see them spread their wings, but you are still his mom. You will always be his mom and you know what? You are doing something better for him than you realize, you are trying to give him more to love, more to his life than he will ever know until he has a family of his own. He will appreciate his siblings even more because of you. Perhaps it is just the age, and the adjustments, but I too am beginning to realize that these boys are just that, little boys now…getting too cool for kissses on the cheek and very little time for US. 😉 How I love them. My heart is with you, and my prayers are too! -HUGS- SUPER TIGHT! Things will be alright!

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