Thanks for your responses guys, I was going to just post as a reply, but I didn’t want it to get lost in there.
Overall I think I’m doing ok, but I can’t stand the thought that maybe this has pushed him into ‘big kid’ faster than he would have on his own. I seriously bawl BAWL every time I think about this. I guess I’m assuming I am getting a glimpse of his stress when he doesn’t want me to kiss him goodnight and he refuses to obey and screams at me. It really is so sad. I know I am doing good for these other kids, but I just don’t want to make the one I already have feel like, like….like I don’t love him anymore I guess. I hope it is just him growing up and not that he is subconsciously super stressed about the whole thing. He says he likes them here, but I just wonder what’s happening to him inside. Those feelings that not even he understands. how do i figure those out.
I’m so used to one child that I think it is hard for me to adjust to 3-in so many ways but right now I’m just thinking about the time spent. S would get his basic needs met+lots of love and attention and I still got time for me. Now having 3, they are all getting their basic needs met, but I don’t feel like there is a lot of time left for love and attention. I feel bad for all of them cause I do feel it could be different, but I guess that is one of the sacrifices you make with more than one child.