I am in a funk. I am not myself. I have NO patience. Remember when I first got the boys I posted about how well it was going and how much more patience I was having with 3 than I had ever had with only 1 child. NOT ANYMORE! I am a raving lunatic! I think I am always mad. I have woke up mad the last few days. I would hate to be my boys(and husband) right now. I don’t know what my deal is. I don’t know what I need to do to help myself. I was trying to talk to A about it and he was trying to ask me what I needed, what he could do more/better, but I just don’t know. I feel really overwhelmed with my cleaning and cooking and child-rearing, and I know I could use some help with that, but anytime I ask him to do anything I can’t stand the guilt. I should be able to do this. I should be able to keep my house clean and the kids fed and dressed and their hair done. I should be able to get out side myself and spend time playing with them. I do great at keeping the kids alive and having food around, but actual real meals-not happening. Playtime-what’s that? learning moments-it must be against my religion.
I’m not sure why I’m blogging about this. Maybe I’ll just make the rest of you feel good about what you do, cause I’m sure not.