Welcome to Our Craziness!

I am in a MAJOR funk August 10, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 11:30 pm

I am in a funk. I am not myself. I have NO patience. Remember when I first got the boys I posted about how well it was going and how much more patience I was having with 3 than I had ever had with only 1 child. NOT ANYMORE! I am a raving lunatic! I think I am always mad. I have woke up mad the last few days. I would hate to be my boys(and husband) right now. I don’t know what my deal is. I don’t know what I need to do to help myself. I was trying to talk to A about it and he was trying to ask me what I needed, what he could do more/better, but I just don’t know. I feel really overwhelmed with my cleaning and cooking and child-rearing, and I know I could use some help with that, but anytime I ask him to do anything I can’t stand the guilt. I should be able to do this. I should be able to keep my house clean and the kids fed and dressed and their hair done. I should be able to get out side myself and spend time playing with them. I do great at keeping the kids alive and having food around, but actual real meals-not happening. Playtime-what’s that? learning moments-it must be against my religion.

I’m not sure why I’m blogging about this. Maybe I’ll just make the rest of you feel good about what you do, cause I’m sure not.


8 Responses to “I am in a MAJOR funk”

  1. Kim Says:

    Um, hello? Were you reading my freaking mind? LOL! Meals? We NEVER have a real meal. Usually Eggos with a side of fruit and chocolate milk. Did you know that The California Pizza Kitchen sells frozen pizza at Wal-mart? YUMM. OOooo my favorite…Chili. My kids love it, and all you have to do is open the can and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds…one minute meal…the best! Hang in there Ash…seriously, I have felt this way OH so many times and have been in a funk the last month myself. It is a frightening place to be I KNOW! But you are loved, stay close to the Savior, he will help you through! Thinking of you.

  2. Trina Says:

    Ashlee I am totally feeling the same exact way you are right now!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! But I only have one child to deal with. I was just talking to lacie about this the other day, I have had a couple of break downs in the last week. I feel like I cant do anything…..I can’t work and come home and cook dinner, play with tanner, clean the house, or have the energy to do anything!!! I have no patience lately I really do feel sorry for my boy and my husband lately too. Mike is the same way as A he wants to help but I dont know what to tell him(we are lucky to have husbands that want to help) I am really having a hard time being pregnant….this one is SO much better than the last but it is almost like I have a negative attitude with the sacrifices that come with pregnancy. I hate how it changes EVERYTHING and I really do not feel myself mentally, physically, or emotional. I HATE IT!!!!! So I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone….just hang in there….I am sure you are doing just fine and your boys and hubby know that you really do love them.

    Love ya

  3. Trina Says:

    Okay so I just did this long comment and it didn’t save it!!!
    I just basically wanted to tell you that you are not alone….I feel the same exact way you do. I was just talking to lacie a couple of days ago about this same exact thing. I have had a few breakdowns in the last week. I am having such a hard time being SUPERWOMAN…. I feel like I can’t do anything, when I get home I feel like I can’t do anything. I hardly make dinner anymore, I clean my house just enough for it to look good, and my poor little guy fends for himself half of the time….it is a good thing that he is so self entertained!!! Mike is like A he wants to help but I don’t know what to tell him to help with(we are so lucky to have hubbys that want to help)
    This pregnancy is so much better than the last but it is almost like I have a negative attitude this time, mostly about the HUGE sacrifice you have to make. I really don’t feel myself mentally, physically, or emotionally. I HATE IT!!! I am glad that the baby is healthy and I am really glad that we are having another baby…but I want MYSELF back.
    So just hang in there….just remember that your boys love you and so does your hubby!!!

    Love ya

  4. Sarah Says:

    Ash I think you are absolutley amazing in taking on the feat that you have. I don’t think that any human being strong or not could help themselves but to look back and wonder if it was a good idea, wondering if you had irrevocably changed the balance that was your life. But Ash you are such a strong person and you are making those boys and your little S’s lifes better and more fulfilled – I am so proud of your little family!

    hugs ~

  5. lace Says:

    I believe that we all experience different trials in our lives but the same emotions, which helps us relate to what another is feeling. I can’t even imagine what your life has been like the last few months, but can sympathize with some of the emotions you mentioned. I know you are feeling like you can’t keep up, but I think you are forgetting how amazing you are and what an amazing thing you are doing! I think it’s easy to over look all that you do when there’s so much else going on. You are seriously on the top of my list of amaizing women, I have so much admiration for you. Let me know if I can ever give you a break or something.

  6. April Says:

    Wow! There must be something in the water! I hate feeling like crap all the time! I am always grumpy too-can’t seem to shake it! I wonder why we think we have to do it all…maybe because it doesn’t SEEM to hard to just do the dishes or do laundry or feed the baby, or take the toddler to the potty all the time. So we think we SHOULD be able to do it all…but we can’t! I don’t know about you but my energy runs out about an hour after I wake up in the morning (if you can call it energy) and then I drag the rest of the day. The little things like “I want a drink of water, get me this toy, can I paint, I want a popcicle, fill up this baby bottle please…” (then there’s the baby-teething, separation anxiety stage, nursing, naps, getting beat up by big sister and sad that mommy can’t hold her ALL the time!) They all add up, the big and the small, and it can get overwhelming. I usually end up doing nothing! I don’t know how I am supposed to teach my girls coping skills when I don’t have any! Seriously, I pick and avoid-not good! As far as the poor hubby thing goes, it’s all taken out on him when he’s home but the last 9 months I hardly ever see him so he can’t get beat up too bad (probably why he works so much!) Aren’t we glad we have good husbands that deal with all the stuff we throw at them! I haven’t been myself for a long time and I am sick of it. Lacie’s comment is so true how everyone’s problems are different but we still feel the same. You are not alone! It’s frustrating to not know how to make things better! I used to be so patient-I was even proud of how patient I was-now I am almost the opposite of patient. I don’t know what changed (it’s probably from 9 months of things not changing!) I say take baby steps (try to make it to 3pm, then 4pm, then 5pm) and thank goodness bedtime comes daily! Good luck and if you ever want to do anything call me! I am free practically all the time! (Yes, I know I sound desperate!) I guess I should write stuff on my blog but if I do, certain people (Shawn’s family) will read it and think I’m serious about beating my kids, and blow things I say out of proportion. Sorry, my comment is so long! Good Luck! April

  7. April Says:

    once again-sorry so long! I tend to babble!

  8. ashandike Says:

    Thanks guys-I’m still in a funk though! lol I think that maybe i’m getting depressed. I hate how I feel about everything lately. crappy. and heck yeah-I’m all for hanging out april!

    oh right…I had july’s craft. way to ruin that! I’ll plan august.

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