Welcome to Our Craziness!

Another week down October 26, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 11:12 am

It’s been 9 and a half weeks now. We are settling in a bit. I’ve stopped being crazy about organizing my house. There is a company called ‘pick me up’ and they are coming and picking him up for therapy 2 of the 3 times he goes every week. That will be so nice. I wish I could be everywhere, but I just sit and watch mostly at therapy. I’ll still be going once a week to see what they are doing and all. they picked him up for the first time today. That’s going to help me not feel so busy.

We also have a nurse coming out to give andy a shower 3 times a week. It takes so long(2 hours!) so I’ve only been able to do it when I had someone here to watch the kids (or they are asleep, but by then we are both so tired). He has only been getting a shower about once a week. I have felt really bad that I haven’t given him a shower more often than that, but it’s just been so hard. I didn’t like that I couldn’t do it all myself, but they came for the first time last night to shower him and it was so nice to not have to do that myself.

I had a couple friends come over and clean my house. That was so helpful too.

So it is gettingย  better. It’s been really overwhelming. there is just always so much to do, but I’ve been feeling like I’m just going backwards.ย  Having other people do some of the things is going to really help, and I’m really working on being more relaxed. Everyone needs me to be more relaxed and I’m really trying.


This week. October 19, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 7:20 pm

It’s been so long! I can’t beleive I haven’t posted since sunday.

Andy has had a pretty rough week, which means I’ve also had a pretty rough week. Monday we decided he needed to see a Dr. and sure enough he had a UTI. We got him antibiotic for that. They worked for a couple days, but then there were some concerns and his pee was starting to stink bad again so we took him back in. They had just got the culture back from Monday and sure enough the infection is resistant to the antibiotic they gave him, so we got a new perscription.

He has been having trouble sitting for any length of time because of nerve pain in his bottom. It just hurts sooo much, and was getting worse fast. We missed his first therapy appt. monday since we went to the dr. We went on thursday and friday. I’m sure all the pain is just regression from not doing therapy for a week and a half. He really went backwards fast, so therapy is going to be so helpful I think. They worked mostly on his hamstrings. Having really tight hamstrings can pull down on the sacrum and back bones and that can be what’s causing him so much pain. They massaged and stretched them for quite a long time and even after that he only measured at 25 degrees off the table straight legged. She said ultimate goal, or normal is 100 degrees, so he is really tight and that could easily be what is causing so much pain. He is already feeling so much better-from the uti getting better and the therapy. He is actually sitting in his chair tonight by his own choice-so he is really not hurting as much as he has been. Yay!

I’ve been so stressed out and busy. I am constantly wanted by someone. I feel like I’m just running from one thing to the next. Rarely do I have time to sit and relax, and if I do just make that time I feel like I pay for it after because everyone becomes needy while I’m resting so it’s 100 times more work to ‘catch up’. Yesterday while I was waiting for alex at an appointment I fell asleep in the waiting room. He came out, someone else woke me up, but alex said “I saw you sleeping.” I told him yeah, I’m just super tired. He said very matter of fact “When we get home you can nap.” Thanks for the permission little man.

I bought thank you cards this week-so Andy will be writing those in all his free time. Bwah ha ha. Poor guy has no choice. I’m to busy and he sits and plays his gameboy for hours a day so I’m making him write the thank you cards. ๐Ÿ™‚ We really do have so much to be thankful for.


Sunday October 15, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 12:54 pm

We had church today. We knew andy wouldn’t be able to make it 3 hours, so we only went to sacrament. It takes about a half hour to get Andy out of the house, so we had to leave super early. We had to talk today. blegh. I hate talking. It’s really hard for me. Aprill wrote my talk, though she would say we wrote my talk. lol When we got to the door a man was standing there holding keys and said “I have the keys to the elevator.” We all laughed. Whatever, elevator, ha, ha, ha, and we keep going in. then he says something about it again, and again i think we just laughed. ha, ha, not funny anymore, ha ha…but he persisted! “Follow me to the elevator.” ok….sure…I guess we will follow…ย  And there really was one to get Andy on the stand. Just a little closet lift. crazy!

Andy was in a lot of pain during church. i had to step down and get water so andy could take some medicine. He was really not doing well. He spoke then I spoke. I’m glad it’s over. We got stuck in the elevator going down. We don’t really know why but for awhile we were in there and couldn’t get either door to open. It was so funny. We were dying of laughter. ๐Ÿ™‚

Home again, home again…Andy got in bed emergency style(when he is in a lot of pain we have to rush fast) and mostly slept all day. The rest of us hung out with my brother and his family down here.

I’m starting to slack on the blog updates. I really do want to do an update each night-it’s still the plan. I am working on getting this all figured out and it seems to be getting better. I’m trying to work out a schedule for everything and figuring out when everything is going to happen.


Saturday October 13, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 10:39 pm

I was super busy today getting ready for Andy’s party. I made him call people to invite them if I didn’t think they knew about it already. He was so funny about it-He was mostly leaving messages saying “This is Andy, I’m calling to invite you to a party in my honor.” He loved the party today. He is all about parties, and to be the main attraction was all he could have asked for. lol My mom asked him at one point if he needed to get back in his bed and he said no, so she told him that if he needed everyone to leave to just say and she could have the room cleared fast for him. He said “But I’m getting all the attention!” lol What a ‘yellow’.

The party was really fun. I was surprised at how many people came. I was worried that only a couple people were going to come-I guess I don’t have much trust in my ‘party-throwing’ skills, but andy has always been the party master so people came for him. ๐Ÿ™‚ And, it wasn’t a huge mess after. Yay! lol Thanks to everyone who came-it really was great.

I think I’m almost done organizing. It’s feeling really good. I have a few things I’m selling and a few things to move around, but I’m seeing the end! My mom and Dad and sister were over last night to rearrange my living room so we could include andy. there was a couch/tv area and the room was split in half-and he was in the other half. So we moved stuff around to be able to have his bed as part of the tv/couch area to include him.ย  The next goal I have is to get something set up so all his supplies are accessible to him so he can gather everything and be independent, possibly not needing me at all for some things.

Tomorrow is the last day that Aprill is off work. I’m nervous about next week. I honestly don’t think I can do this on my own, but I will just have to, we will just have to. I think I’m going to try and figure out what time(s) of day are the worst and maybe try and have someone come over to help during that time. I’m thinking mornings are bad-when I’m trying to get Andy up and going. It takes so much time and focus and it’s hard to take care of the kids at the same time.

Andy and I are really both trying so hard with all this. We are getting along better and we are both trying to communicate our needs more than before. As bad as this is, there are so many things that are coming out of it that are good. I feel so blessed that he is even alive, but also talking and normal and will walk again, etc. I am blessed to have such support around. I have learned a lot about how to support someone in crisis from this. I’m so thankful to my family, to aprill. She really has taken the brunt of this. I can’t take any stress out on the kids, I can’t take it out on Andy and I’m sure aprill has received most of that, but she still keeps on coming back for more. I’m so thankful that workers comp. is paying for everything. I see bills and there is no way we could ever do this on our own. (his shared room in rehab was 610.00 a night! His cushion on his wheelchair is almost 400.00! the mattress on his bed is rented for almost 400.00 a month! The medipillar is rented for 200.00 A WEEK!) Really, if you are going to get hurt like this, do it at work. ๐Ÿ™‚

Neuroworx called and we set up therapy-he will go Mon, Thur, Fri at 10am for about an hour and a half. That will be cool. I’m feeling a lot of responsibility having him not doing therapy to do all the exercises at home. Maybe I will still have ‘homework’ but it’s been hard to find the time to get them in, and I don’t really know what I’m doing. Anyway, it will be good to have him going to therapy again.


yesterday-thursday October 12, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 8:24 am

It was a pretty good day. Aprill was here most of the day-can I make it against the rules that she goes back to work next week?

We put away my 7 week pile of laundry. Yay! That has been such a mess and the longer it went the harder it was to get the guts (and time) to tackle it. It’s gone now! Just in time for me to start laundry again. lol

We went to target and picked up some stuff, including a sweet shelf for my storage room. I have a laundry basket for each person for sorting, and now they can just sit on the shelves and always be out. I’m excited about my nice clean organized storage room, and almost nice organized house. ๐Ÿ™‚

We took the rest of the stuff to storage. That’s all I could find for now-my house is feeling a lot more roomy and my storage is just over half full. Yay! And to boot, my storage is organized-the stuff that I won’t need is in the back and the stuff I’ll need sooner is in the front. Sweet. I really love being organized.

Someone took the kids tonight so Andy and I could go out. We went to hires. Yummy! I love that place. Trudy took the kids to dinner and they got to go to the dollar store and pick out something, and she bought them all new shoes. they had a really fun night. We all came home to my mom and dad over here fixing things and decorating the boys’ rooms. Alex has trees and stars and a brown sheet around the bottom of the bunkbed to make a tent, and stryker has a blue sheet on his ceiling(it’s broken up a bit and he was sad about it) and he has fish and a nightlight. they both love it. alex asked for his sleeping bag to sleep in. Sometimes we do that, but it was getting late and I was tired so I told him no-only for camping. Well, the smart boy said “Well, it’s like I’m camping”. Guess who slept in his sleeping bag last night? lol

Andy felt better today. His bum still hurts a lot when he is sitting-just lots of nerve pain, but he is getting some feeling back in that area and that is really exciting. My next goal for my house is to rearrange my furniture so that andy can see the tv from his hospital bed, and to have his supplies all in his reach so he can get them when he needs. oh, and put away the new batch of laundry right away.


Wednesday October 10, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 10:41 pm

I really had that appointment with Charlie this morning. It went really well. I’m seeing a lot of hope for our relationship and that’s really good. ๐Ÿ™‚ Aprill and I cleaned out the storage room. I got a storage unit. I have enough space for all my stuff if I can keep it organized, but that takes a lot of time and energy so I’m just getting all the crap out of here. We went through my storage room and pulled stuff out to take to storage and organized the stuff left. It’s going to be so nice! I boxed up some stuff-like andy’s massage stuff. I’m really excited about it all. I think my problem here is this-I have to have some level of control in my life and I think that maybe since I’m feeling so out of control with most of what’s going on that maybe that is why I’m attacking my house like this. It really is taking so much more effort and energy to be trying to organize my whole house right now, but I think that maybe that is just me having control over something. I’ve been trying to talk myself out of these projects, but I can’t. I feel like maybe what some people talk about ‘nesting’ for pregnant women-uncontrollable urges to clean and organize and get ready. Maybe it’s the same idea on the sub-conscious level-thatย  birth is such an uncontrollable thing you just have to have control over something in your world. Anyway-I’m really spending a lot of energy organizing. I’m loving the result, but I am feeling really silly about it all. If only I could put some of that energy towards actual cleaning. I could organize and reorganize my house every day, but the actual cleaning like vacuuming and dusting and bathrooms, and dishes, and….that is my weakness. I just need a maid. ๐Ÿ™‚

Andy wasn’t feeling really great today. nothing really specific-just all over crummy, though he did feel better after taking a nap. We have both decided that an afternoon nap would be a good thing for him. He is needing more sleep-he hasn’t been taking naps because he feels guilty about it since I can’t nap, but after today’s nap felt so good he said it’s just something he needs to do. It was actually nice for me to have that break in the day. I’m really trying not to just make him another kid here, but it was nice to have alex at school, charlie and andy napping and stryker in quiet time. Just some time for me to do whatever without having to worry about anyone or having to take care of anyone. I told him that he is fine taking afternoon naps nad to try and do it right after lunch when the other boys nap. lol Maybe that is when I can shower again…

The boys went to bed really easy tonight. We have started reading chapter books to them at night. I am one chapter away from the end of charlotte’s web. I’m not sure how much they are understanding or hearing, but it’s helping bedtime and they love it. I especially love nights much like tonight, when they are both asleep by the time I finish reading the chapter. (Hence why I don’t think they could possible be understanding much.)

Andy took a shower tonight. second one since he has been home. He likes it so much more here-his shower and his soap and his wife an it’s just more comfortable. It seems to go so much more smooth than at the hospital, and he washes most of his body himself, so I just hang out in there with him for that. That helps a lot-when I was helping with shower at the hospital he basically just sat there while I washed. It’s so much work getting him ready for the shower and getting him finished after he is done, that it’s so much easier to be able to take a break in the middle while he does that work. Loved it that way tonight.

It’s so hard to be patient with everyone. there are seriously moments of the day that I want to run away and not come back for a couple hours. We all have so much personal drama we are dealing with right now with all the changes that have happened in the last couple months(and the last year) and it’s so important for me to remember where everyone is coming from and that they might be having strong emotions about all of this just like me. that is so hard because I am definitely having some strong emotions. I thing it’s hard for me, when I’m having strong emotions to be able to see that others are probably having their own strong emotions too, but I’m trying so hard to remember that and be empathetic. I’m really working on that with my kids. They aren’t my little slaves and they are ever going to be perfect-the faster I can really accept that the easier life will be for all of us. I really have such high expectations for them. I don’t think it’s totally wrong to expect a lot, but I know I expect too much. I don’t want them growing up thinking they will never be able to be all I want them to be. anyway, I’m babbling now.


tuesday October 9, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashlieaxandike @ 10:08 pm

Everything takes so much time. Today I thought I had an appt for Charlie at 10am and didn’t remember it was tomorrow till I was there-so I went and got gas and went to the bank instead. Neuroworx called and wanted to get andy in for an eval asap so we went in to that. it looks pretty cool. They have an awesome pool with a treadmill in the bottom. He can get in that and walk before he can be totally weight bearing.

We rushed home-someone was coming to bring a hospital bed. Andy has been having a hard time in our bed. It’s harder to roll and move in the waterbed and it’s impossible to cath without me doing waterbed gymnastics. That will be nice. It’s out in the living room, so that won’t be as nice in the middle of the night, but he will sleep better and I won’t have to find balance at midnight. He is pretty happy about it. He napped on it today. (so jealous! I want a nap!!)

I was late for an appt to get Andy’s tlso cut again. It’s still a little too low and is hitting his ‘bumps’ still. they were super cool about it. I took Stryker. He has had the worst gas the last few days. Something is rotting inside that kid, but the funny thing is-he likes the smell of it. We got back in the car after the tlso appointment and It was fuming from a stinker. I asked him if it was him and he said sniff”no” sniff, sniff, sniff. He kept just smelling it till it was gone from the car. He has been doing that every time he stinkers-just smelling it. sick! and he’s hilarious about it. He tries to blame it on other people. He will stinker then ask “ewww, who stinkered?!?” and I’ll say “You did-sicko!” and he says “oh.” and smiles mischeviously. What a bum.

Had to rush home to pick up Alex for an appt for him. I got him there on time. We got home and had dinner and hung out. The boys went to bed ok. Today was a bit better. I’ve been onry all day though. I really need to work on that. I am still so overwhelmed. I’m trying to not stress, but I just feel so out of control it’s crazy. Life goes on. Goodnight.