so watch out if you post something interesting, I might just copy you. 😀
Another shout out to my sister
I’m also sick of just writing the letter for my kids names. So here are cute nicknames I will use, based on their ASL name signs I have given them:
A is now Wolverine(because of his metal bones)
Ax is now AlleyCat
S is now Crazy
C is now Sweaty
Do you ever go to the book store looking for some type of self-help? You stand in the aisle for hours looking at every book, trying to find the perfect book that will give you some type of advice you haven’t ever thought of; some help for a piece of your life that has a hole. I have. I love the self-help aisle. I can go to the store on a mission to find that piece that is missing and stand there forever looking at each book-trying to find the one that best matches what I think I want to do.
Don’t you do that? You want the help, you aren’t sure what you should do, though you do have an idea of what would be best. So you stand there in that aisle looking for a book written by someone important, someone who knows what they are talking about, someone who agrees with you!
I have!
Just do what you feel is right! I believe we are given a natural intuition, strength that can help us lead our lives. I believe at the heart of things we can all get a little more introspective, a little more prayerful, a little more thoughtful and we can figure things our for ourselves.
I also have religiously read so many baby/kid magazines and books that I have made myself crazy. Please believe me-they will make you crazy. There are so many different opinions on everything. (Shout out to my sister.) You can find whatever you want to find about any question you have-child rearing, marriage, how to water your garden, etc. I went absolutely crazy for a couple years. I was SO worried about doing it wrong. WRONG! Heaven forbid I do something wrong-I will ruin my child forever!
I have since virtually stopped reading all that ‘crap’. I do think it’s useful sometimes, but I honestly feel that deep down, maybe really deep down, we all know what we want and we are afraid that ‘they’ won’t agree. As the self-help generation I really feel like we need to stop the madness. We have to learn to trust our intuition, our motherly instinct, the promptings from the Holy Ghost. I have learned it’s so important to do what is right for you, for your child, for that moment, that situation. No book can follow you around telling you what to do each day, but we do have instinct for that. God has given us a way to raise healthy happy children based on our circumstances.
I do still get Parents magazine, I’m reading the greatest book right now, and we have THE BEST therapist in the whole world. I’ll admit-I haven’t quite kicked that addiction, but I’ve also changed SO much about my parenting style. I have learned to step back and see what is and isn’t working for my kids. I’ve learned to listen when I make a mistake to that voice in the back of my head that is telling me I should go to my children and fix what I’ve done-even though it might go against what I believe should happen in a happy home with well-behaved children. We still have rules, but we have rules that work for us right now, that have been thought about and chosen by us.
Having gone through what we have gone through in the last year and a half I will tell you I believe with all my heart that it is super important to listen to yourself and listen to the Lord. Stop doubting yourself.
It’s all done now. They are officially ours. No more involvement from the State. WhooHoo!!
“Ax B. G. and C.B.G. are hereby adopted by ARG and ALG with the Petitioners and children henceforth having all of the rights and duties that would have existed if the children ahd been born as the Petitioners’ legal children. ”
It feels so unreal to me. No more home visits. No more court. No more filling out forms at the dr’s office to send in. No more worrying that I’m not using babysitters that haven’t had background checks. No more having to lock up the medicine(though it’s a good idea anyway).
I just feel so relieved to be done. It’s been a long long hard process. It really is unbelievably hard, but it’s so worth it. There are so many kids who need our love and our help. I would encourage you that if you’ve ever thought about foster care to do it. It’s an amazing experience. I have learned so much. I have come so far. I love my kids. ALL my kids. MY kids! This is cool.
I can’t sleep. I have to be up in 5 hours now to get 3 kids ready and I can’t sleep.
We talk about emotions SO much over here that it can’t help but rub off-I have become a lot more introspective. I’m not sure where I was going with that-it is 1:38 after all…. I am just feeling a lot right now. I’m so worried about my kids tomorrow(today!). It means so much to all of us, but it means so many different things. I’m so totally stoked and just want everyone to feel like I do. Ax is nervous and scared, a little happy, a little sad. He knows it means he will NEVER live with his mom again and I just can’t even imagine what that would feel like. Ike is feeling really jealous. He is seeing all the attention Ax is getting and wants to be adopted too. It’s useless to tell him that we are all just becoming a family and they are becoming brothers now-it’s still a heck of a lot of attention for ax getting adopted and ike wants to be a adopted too. Then Ax hears him say that and tells him “You don’t want to be adopted.” and that makes my heart hurt for him. (and C is clueless still-He’s got it the best out of any of us!)
So, tomorrow I’m going to be a wreck. I’m worried about sooo much. How will Ax handle everything? How will Ike handle everything? How will I handle everything!? Will ‘mom’ show up-somehow hearing about the hearing and crash the party? Will I have to escort my kids away from a screaming mom being held by bailiffs? Will they even get dressed and ready to go in the morning or will they all fight me and we end up dragging them into the courtroom in their jammies? Will Ax tell the judge he doesn’t want to live with us and she will take that at face value and stop the whole process? Ack!
I’m totally freaking out, and I’m still not even close to feeling sleepy.
I have the final details about adoption day, but I don’t want to post all of it online, so if you didn’t get my email that means I don’t have your email address. Please leave me a comment with your email address and I will make sure you get invited!!
A horrible cell phone photograph of our newest baby-Winston
(at least that is the name he came with…)
I got tagged from Lacie so here goes.
10 Random Things:
1-I am so nervous that Ax will be sad on June 19th. He is having some very valid mixed feelings about the whole deal, which I’m cool with, but I’m not sure that I know how to prepare for myself for a reality where he could be disappointed about it. 😦
2-I am totally into queen right now! Love the music! Love the beats! Love the silliness! Love!
3-Birth control pills are messing with me. Blegh.
4-We finally got our fence closed in so we have our doggie Zeek living here now. Yay!
5-I know I look super sad in this picture, but I wish I was this skinny again. (and I wish I hadn’t felt fat when I looked that skinny)
6-Almost daily I wish I were a more fun mommy.
7-I am still super in love with my house. I can’t believe I live here. It’s so perfect for us right now.
8-Popcorn give me canker sores, but movie popcorn is good enough to deal with the pain for the next few days.
9-I can’t eat sugar cereal in the morning, but I crave it at night.
10-I can’t wait to take my whole family to the temple and be sealed together!
Recent Comments